Blogging in the Real World

Blogging is something that has really taken off and become popular in recent years. Back in high school and college, I had a blog on Xanga (anyone remember that?!) that basically talked about my schoolwork and my ridiculous love life. I stumbled upon it a couple of years ago and reread some of my old entries and was so embarrassed about what I'd written. (Side note: George R. R. Martin, the creator of Game of Thrones, still has an active Live Journal site and I think that's amazing!) My posts talked about my boyfriend at the time who then became my ex, and I naively talked about how perfect we were together and how we were soulmates and that I'd love him until the end of time, and then progressed to (after the tragic break-up) me talking about how wonderful he was and how he was still my very best friend and how he'd realize one day how perfect we were together and come back to me. It was awful and total garbage. If I could go back in time and sit down with 18-year-old me, I'd punch her in the face and tell her to get a clue. My feelings were so genuine at the time, but I was so naive and had my priorities totally out of whack. 

Excuse me while I go vomit. 

I got back into blogging a few years ago. I was big into reading blogs at the time, and they were the cool thing to do. Several of my friends encouraged me to start my own, because I have a love for informal writing and my life is pretty ridiculous (especially at the time, back when I was young and single) and friends encouraged me to document my life journey, not only for myself, but also for their amusement. Since then, I have tried to blog and accurately document my life and all of the ups and downs. I've always kept it real and never tried to sugarcoat any of it. 

All of my ramblings have a point, I swear. A friend of mine from college (she was an English major while I was an English minor) recently announced that she is pregnant with her first child. She started a blog to chronicle everything that happens, but today she made the blog public after she announced her pregnancy on social media. (It is also worth noting that she is the CEO and founder of a social media based marketing firm.) AL (as I shall call her) is a great writer, and she is incredibly funny. Her blog obviously details her journey with her first pregnancy. I sincerely admire how authentic she has been with documenting her pregnancy and all of its ups and downs. I feel like most pregnancy blogs that I read (which used to be lifestyle blogs until their wonderful authors got knocked up) tend to just talk about how #blessed they are. I use the hashtag there for a reason. We've all seen people humblebrag on social media about how #blessed they are, and quite frankly, I think it's become a bit cliche. These pregnancy bloggers talk about how magical and beautiful it is to be with child, but they tend to leave out a lot of the reality. (Before anyone starts to get onto me about this, hear me out.) I dearly love all of the blogs that I read, and I think that having a baby is a wonderful thing. HOWEVER, I think that women tend to romanticize pregnancy (and many other aspects of their lives). These pregnant bloggers talk about all of the growth milestones of their fetus and about the changes in their body and daily routines, but they seem to avoid talking about the negative and sometimes scary changes. They passively reference and joke about heartburn and stretch marks, but I feel like they never get real with us. Blogging these days seems to focus on people's Pinterest-perfect outfits/crafts/meals. I honestly think that by avoiding the real topics in our lives, we are doing our readers and fellow women a disservice. By painting these "perfect" pictures of ourselves and omitting our struggles and downfalls, we are setting up false expectations. As bloggers, we open up our lives to complete strangers, and I know that that is a scary thing, but we choose to do this. We share intimate details about the successes in our lives, but we seem too afraid to talk about our shortcomings or failures. It seems silly to me to paint such a one-sided picture of ourselves. If we are willing to share our success, why are we not equally as willing to share our failures? I just feel like these pregnancy blogs (as well as other lifestyle blogs in general) tend to only talk about the sparkly wonderful moments. Why are we so scared and hesitant to talk about the real moments? I love AL's new blog because she's totally honest in all that she had to say. She talks about the constipation that comes with pregnancy, just as candidly as she talks about the joy of hearing her child's heartbeat. These bloggers that paint a portrait of pregnancy as being nothing but joy and Magic are really doing a disservice to fellow women. They are making other women feel inadequate or like they are "doing it wrong" or like the struggles they face are isolated instead of universal. I personally would love to see more bloggers paint an accurate portrayal of pregnancy (and of life in general). I'd love to know that I'm not alone in my struggles (and no, I'm not pregnant, but I hope you can see my point). It's up to us as women to spread the word about what to expect when you're expecting. As a blogger, I can easily tell you that I rely on my fellow bloggers for life intel and that I trust them more than Google or Wikipedia. By sugarcoating our stories, we are making each other feel like we aren't enough. It may not be blog-worthy, but sometimes it's nice to know that other people's houses aren't always immaculate and that other people eat Easy Mac for dinner instead of Instagram-worthy gourmet meals. 

Let's be real with each other. Let's stop making each other feel unworthy by only focusing on the magic in our lives. Let's equally share about our shirty days as we do about our perfect days. Life isn't perfect and we shouldn't blog as it it is. I challenge you to write a real post about your day, even if work was terrible, your kids misbehaved and you strongly considered shipping them off to the nearest boarding school, your clothes didn't match and were covered in stains and holes, and you burned the frozen pizza you made for dinner. Let's be real with each other. I promise that your authentic blog posts are the most enjoyable to read. 

I love all of you and I hope that we can strive to be more authentic this year. 

Love,

A

PS- I'm having frozen pizza for dinner, my work day was hell, and I skipped showering this morning so I could sleep in. That's my real life today.